And so dies my budding career as the Brooke Hogan of MLE, as doomed and valiant as a match's flame.

Email I got last night:

Hello,

My stage name is [redacted]. I am looking for Zoe Yang who recently "won" a spot to be a Bunnette at Coney Island this weekend. I am a competitive eater out of Philadelphia who will be in New York City this 4th of July for the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championship.

If this is you, I was hoping you and I could get together either at the contest or even afterwards at some of the after parties (I'll be at ALL of the hot spots Friday and Saturday nights with the eaters) and I would be able to tell you a few of my ideas that could involve you in the competitive eating world!

Check out my website [redacted]. There's several pictures of Juliet Lee and I and Kobayashi and I hanging out together. I am also on Facebook as [redacted] along with a [redacted] on Facebook.

If you could, can you get back to me soon, because I am leaving for New York on Thursday.

If this is not Zoe Yang, sorry. Maybe you could put me in touch with her!

Thank you,

[Signature redacted]

My response:

Hi [redacted],

You have found the right person, I am Zoe Yang. Did you find me through my blog?

I am looking forward to Nathan's, but I wasn't even aware there were afterparties (and apparently pre-parties?)! I wouldn't mind getting together briefly sometime on Saturday, but I don't really understand what you mean by involving me in the competitive eating world. I didn't really see the Bunnette thing as a crack in the door to a future career with MLE. Also, if your ideas involve big boobs, you don't want me.

See you at the Contest!

Zoe

No response. He probably heeded my boob disclaimer.